I am so very tired now. My whole body wants to lie down and sleep. Even speaking is an effort. And its only 4pm.
Today I decided to treat myself to a back massage. I had been feeling as though I needed one for some time, and then yesterday I had lower back pain, so I got pro-active and off I went at the appointed time thinking it would be a treat. I was imagining lovely essential oils smells, soft reiki music tinkling away like a running stream; and having all my stresses, new and old, eased out of those big muscles by expert hands.
Well the music and smells were on cue, but the therapist was big and strong, with very strong fingers that poked right into my knotty bits, through my whole body and out the other side. It was sore! I began to imagine she was remembering ancestral scenes from the anglo-boer war and was now exacting revenge. Even the music began to sound like little drummer boys marching before the troops. I wimpered, and gasped. No – this isn’t like the picture!!!
I could see her toes. See the weight come off one foot as she really leaned into the job. I can do this, I promised myself – I wont cry, or whimper too much. But ‘aish’ that hurts! “shame’ said the therapist not meaning it.
All too soon (not) it was over. Phewee. She met me at the door. “You must come back. I can’t fix it all in one session”. “oh OK’ (WHAT?), I mumbled, finding it difficult to speak. ”probably not this week though..”
“Remember to drink lots of water so you don’t start to detox (what?) or get headaches (!) … nausea..(!) “ none of this was in my plan. I imagined floating home, the picture of serenity and calm - not this spaced out wounded stumbling.
I drove home. Everyone overtaking me on the road. Perhaps there is something wrong with the speedo – I cant be driving THAT slow.
… but I do think my back feels better, or will when the bruising subsides.